Runner’s Log: I’m sorry I didn’t wear pants

Rest Day Walk

5/7/2017

πŸ‘Ÿ I woke up this morning and thought, “Hey. Let’s walk home from church today.”

πŸ‘Ÿ Sometimes my randomness worries even me.

πŸ‘Ÿ I prepared and brought clothes to change into; however, I wished I had grabbed leggings instead of shorts.

πŸ‘Ÿ I’d like to take this moment to apologize for all of you who were momentarily blinded by my luminous, bright, white legs. Seriously. My legs have not seen sunlight for about 8 months.

πŸ‘Ÿ I’d also like to thank everyone who was afraid I was lost or confused and stopped to check on me. I always look lost and confused. It’s kinda my thing. Note to self: next time wait for everyone to leave church before walking home.

πŸ‘Ÿ Β I totally get why my cat sprawls on the back of my couch by the living room window. Sunshine. It’s freaking amazing. I wonder if she’d share her spot…

πŸ‘Ÿ Could totally do without this wind. I used a lot of hairspray in my hair so at the moment it’s like I’m wearing a helmet that is shifting with each gust.

πŸ‘Ÿ I’ve come to the realization. I hate running but I love walking.

πŸ‘Ÿ When I was young, I walked all over the place: my grandma’s house (3 miles), Daley Estates (? miles), EA Pool (4 miles). Sometimes, I walked on the road. Other times, I walked the canal roads – usually barefoot. Most likely this is the first time either of my parents have realized this. Better to ask forgiveness than permission, right?

πŸ‘Ÿ So, I spot a bird egg shell under a tree. It’s just half of a shell – no goop. That means the baby birdie made it, right? It just kicked the shell off the branch during it’s triumphant entry to the world. Please feel free to lie to me. The only answer I will accept is, yes, the birdie is alive and kickin’. (I promise it’s not part of a plastic Easter egg. I checked.)

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πŸ‘Ÿ In all my preparations and enjoyment of the sun, I may have neglected one thing – sunblock. I always have some on my face but not the rest of me. Thus begins my awesome summer FitBit line. It’s not much but it’s all I usually get.

 

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Runner’s Log: Ruff Times

4/19/17

πŸ‘Ÿ  It’s still so cold.

πŸ‘Ÿ  Jacket βœ”️ Headwrap βœ”️ Neck gator βœ”️  Sense of style out the window βœ”️

πŸ‘Ÿ  With my lack of energy, I’m pretty sure I’m running slow enough to be an extra on The Walking Dead. Actually, I don’t know how accurate that is. I’ve never watch TWD.

πŸ‘Ÿ  Yeah, yeah, save your shock. Something about creatures eating brains prevents me from watching. Plus, even with their skin problems, the zombies are still more tan than I am.

πŸ‘Ÿ  Well crap. That is a dog. A VERY big dog and it is barking and growling like I resemble his next meal. I think I now know what the Hounds of Hell sound like.

πŸ‘Ÿ  Seriously though…do I run faster? Someone once told me they can smell fear and it brings out their instinct to attack. If that is the case, I’m FREAKING SCREWED.

πŸ‘Ÿ  Ok. So here’s how it played out – it came running at me and instead of doing what I always thought I would – RUN AS FAST AS I CAN – I turned around and started yelling at the dog. Yes, I had a yelling match with Cujo.

πŸ‘Ÿ  I just stuck my finger in Cujo’s face while yelling and it actually cowered and backed down. I’ll be damned. Now, I just need to wait for my heart to move back from my throat to my chest.

πŸ‘Ÿ  I know everyone else sees dogs like this:

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πŸ‘Ÿ  But when I run, I see dogs like this:

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Runner’s Log: Rest Day WalkΒ 

Runner’s Log: Rest Day Walk

4/16/2017

πŸ‘Ÿ Shoot. Forgot my headphones.

πŸ‘Ÿ I did remember my head wrap to cover my ears. They’re kinda sissies. (Like the rest of me.) Can’t handle the wind.

πŸ‘Ÿ The cows in the field next to me have followed me, like the entire herd, for the length of their pasture. Do they see me as their leader? I don’t know how I feel about that.

πŸ‘Ÿ Green grass all over the place! This is NOT drill, people. That makes me so happy.

πŸ‘Ÿ The sun is casting my shadow on the hill next to me. Is that really what I look like from the side? If so, how much would a tummy tuck run me?

πŸ‘Ÿ Ok. I just Googled it and the average tuck costs about $8k. Nevermind. I can buy a lot for that much. (And by a lot I mean donuts which pretty much is the root of the problem…)

TπŸ‘Ÿ Either I just stepped over the biggest worm ever or snakes are already roaming. #springproblems

πŸ‘Ÿ I do have to say I had the best soundtrack playing throughout my walk and I didn’t even need my headphones. Though birds are such diva snobs. Apparently, they don’t like to be recorded. The frogs were loud and proud. Click the link to listen…

http://youtu.be/7czAu3WpQJE

 

 

Runner’s Log: Pollyannafied

Runner’s Log

4/14/2017

πŸ‘Ÿ I keep thinking that one day running will not suck. Apparently, today is not that day.

πŸ‘Ÿ I need to stop being so negative. It’s all about the positives, right? We’ll let’s see…

πŸ‘Ÿ I’m back to being able to run 4 miles without my toe feeling like it’s rebroken (at least for the most part).

πŸ‘Ÿ My spare tire is smaller than it was two months ago – from Michelin to Schwin.

πŸ‘Ÿ I’m almost back to where I was in December before the kamakazi-log-crushing-my-big-toe incident.

πŸ‘Ÿ Running on the treadmill doesn’t make my right knee feel like it’s going to throw a kneecap.

πŸ‘Ÿ Also, I get to watch movies if I run on the treadmill. Movies are my favorite. (Say it in Buddy the Elf’s voice – much more effective)

πŸ‘Ÿ Figuring out how many miles I need to run in order to eat a donut has really helped my math skills.

πŸ‘Ÿ Also, it’s taught me how to do without. I may not be able to get in enough miles to cover that donut I ate but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

πŸ‘Ÿ Even with all the positives, I can confidently say that I don’t think I will ever love running. It will always be something that’s undesirable but necessary – like scrubbing your toilet or being an adult.

πŸ‘Ÿ A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do – just don’t tell me to enjoy it.

*My awesome niece. I couldn’t have demonstrated a more accurate face if I tried.

*Photo credit: Auntie Jasmine

*Cuteness credit: Mommy (Jill)

Runner’s Log 4/6/2017: Ode To Under Armour

Runner’s Log 4/6/2017

Ode to Under Armour (Written on this morning’s run)

πŸ‘ŸΒ Your headband keeps the sweat from my head from running on my face.

πŸ‘ŸΒ Your sports bra helps to keep all the, ahem, important things in place.

πŸ‘ŸΒ Your ColdGear keeps me nice and warm in Wisconsin’s bitter cold.

πŸ‘ŸΒ I think you’re one of the very best if I may be so bold.

πŸ‘ŸΒ However, I feel I should tell you you’re not the only brand in my running gear.

πŸ‘ŸΒ But one should share good things to say because compliments are always nice to hear.

πŸ‘ŸΒ So with that in mind I thank you for giving me my basics.

πŸ‘ŸΒ Just please help me out and don’t let all of this get back to my Asics. (They’re the jealous sort…)

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Photo credit: blogs.citypages.com

Runner’s Log 4/3/17: Two Towers

Runner’s Log 4/3/17: Two Towers
πŸ‘Ÿ Rainy day – treadmill time.
πŸ‘Ÿ Watching LOTR: Two Towers will help pass the time.
πŸ‘Ÿ Watching this through a runner’s eyes is a lot different. I’m picking up on different things.
πŸ‘Ÿ I wonder if hobbits get blisters.
πŸ‘Ÿ I wonder what size Gollum wears. Is he like a size 0 in loincloths?
πŸ‘Ÿ Not gonna lie. I’m hobbit sized now but wouldn’t mind being a little more on the Gollum sized-side.
πŸ‘Ÿ Does anyone else get hungry when they run? I’d beat those hobbits for some lembas bread right about now.
πŸ‘Ÿ Gollum: “It burns us!” – I feel you dude. My thighs are on fire right about now.
πŸ‘Ÿ Urukai sniffs the air: “What is it? What do you smell?”
πŸ‘Ÿ Me: <raises hand>
πŸ‘Ÿ Gimli: “Three days’ and nights’ pursuit. No food. No rest.” – Me after mile three.
πŸ‘Ÿ Gimli: “Keep breathing. That’s the key.” – the much needed pep talk to keep me going.
πŸ‘Ÿ Does it seem unfair to anyone else that a tall man and an even taller elf keep running and leaving a dwarf behind. Pretty sure I’ve just found another metaphor for my life.
πŸ‘Ÿ Sadly, I think Gollum is my spirit animal. He spends the first hour of the movie trying to hang out with people who think he’s weird. Then he’s starving and can’t find anything to eat all while just wanting to get his hands on some pretty jewelry. Well, all of that and we pretty much have the same hair.
**The question now is do I continue this tomorrow or not? I’m finding too many connections. It’s kinda scary.
gollum running

Runner’s Log 3/31: Why do I have to do this?

Runner’s Log
3/31
πŸ‘Ÿ I’m so cold. Why do I have to do this?
πŸ‘Ÿ Conscience: Two words – maple donuts.
πŸ‘Ÿ Ok, beer drinkers, no offense but y’all are litter bugs. I swear the bulk of garbage on the side of the road is beer cans and bottles.
πŸ‘Ÿ There’s one can, two…three…whoa, that’s a vodka bottle – a VERY large glass vodka bottle.
πŸ‘Ÿ Crap. I forgot to wrap my toes.
πŸ‘Ÿ How long does it take for a toenail to grow back? Currently, my toe looks like a baby erumpent (See Fantastic Beasts).
πŸ‘Ÿ I suppose that’s only fitting considering that unclothed I resemble a murtlap. (Again, see Fantastic Beasts).
πŸ‘Ÿ Beer can tally is at 35. Hard liquor bottles – 5.
πŸ‘Ÿ I’m starting to second guess this route.
πŸ‘Ÿ And that is a prescription pill bottle with a sprinkling of pills surrounding it, but the lid is on. Pretty sure I don’t want to know that story.
πŸ‘Ÿ Beer can tally – 48. Hard liquor – 6.
πŸ‘Ÿ If I find a syringe, I’m calling someone to pick me up.
πŸ‘Ÿ 3.7 miles and done. Beer can tally – 68. Hard liquor bottles – 7. And one bottle of prescription pills.
πŸ‘Ÿ I may be a little traumatized now. Pretty sure I deserve a maple donut.

Didn’t get close enough to see the name on the bottle. Somethings are better left unknown. πŸ‘‡πŸ»

pill bottle