👟 I keep thinking that one day running will not suck. Apparently, today is not that day.
👟 I need to stop being so negative. It’s all about the positives, right? We’ll let’s see…
👟 I’m back to being able to run 4 miles without my toe feeling like it’s rebroken (at least for the most part).
👟 My spare tire is smaller than it was two months ago – from Michelin to Schwin.
👟 I’m almost back to where I was in December before the kamakazi-log-crushing-my-big-toe incident.
👟 Running on the treadmill doesn’t make my right knee feel like it’s going to throw a kneecap.
👟 Also, I get to watch movies if I run on the treadmill. Movies are my favorite. (Say it in Buddy the Elf’s voice – much more effective)
👟 Figuring out how many miles I need to run in order to eat a donut has really helped my math skills.
👟 Also, it’s taught me how to do without. I may not be able to get in enough miles to cover that donut I ate but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
👟 Even with all the positives, I can confidently say that I don’t think I will ever love running. It will always be something that’s undesirable but necessary – like scrubbing your toilet or being an adult.
👟 A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do – just don’t tell me to enjoy it.
*My awesome niece. I couldn’t have demonstrated a more accurate face if I tried.
👟 Watching LOTR: Two Towers will help pass the time.
👟 Watching this through a runner’s eyes is a lot different. I’m picking up on different things.
👟 I wonder if hobbits get blisters.
👟 I wonder what size Gollum wears. Is he like a size 0 in loincloths?
👟 Not gonna lie. I’m hobbit sized now but wouldn’t mind being a little more on the Gollum sized-side.
👟 Does anyone else get hungry when they run? I’d beat those hobbits for some lembas bread right about now.
👟 Gollum: “It burns us!” – I feel you dude. My thighs are on fire right about now.
👟 Urukai sniffs the air: “What is it? What do you smell?”
👟 Me: <raises hand>
👟 Gimli: “Three days’ and nights’ pursuit. No food. No rest.” – Me after mile three.
👟 Gimli: “Keep breathing. That’s the key.” – the much needed pep talk to keep me going.
👟 Does it seem unfair to anyone else that a tall man and an even taller elf keep running and leaving a dwarf behind. Pretty sure I’ve just found another metaphor for my life.
👟 Sadly, I think Gollum is my spirit animal. He spends the first hour of the movie trying to hang out with people who think he’s weird. Then he’s starving and can’t find anything to eat all while just wanting to get his hands on some pretty jewelry. Well, all of that and we pretty much have the same hair.
**The question now is do I continue this tomorrow or not? I’m finding too many connections. It’s kinda scary.
Runner’s Log 3/31 👟 I’m so cold. Why do I have to do this? 👟 Conscience: Two words – maple donuts. 👟 Ok, beer drinkers, no offense but y’all are litter bugs. I swear the bulk of garbage on the side of the road is beer cans and bottles. 👟 There’s one can, two…three…whoa, that’s a vodka bottle – a VERY large glass vodka bottle. 👟 Crap. I forgot to wrap my toes. 👟 How long does it take for a toenail to grow back? Currently, my toe looks like a baby erumpent (See Fantastic Beasts). 👟 I suppose that’s only fitting considering that unclothed I resemble a murtlap. (Again, see Fantastic Beasts). 👟 Beer can tally is at 35. Hard liquor bottles – 5. 👟 I’m starting to second guess this route. 👟 And that is a prescription pill bottle with a sprinkling of pills surrounding it, but the lid is on. Pretty sure I don’t want to know that story. 👟 Beer can tally – 48. Hard liquor – 6. 👟 If I find a syringe, I’m calling someone to pick me up. 👟 3.7 miles and done. Beer can tally – 68. Hard liquor bottles – 7. And one bottle of prescription pills. 👟 I may be a little traumatized now. Pretty sure I deserve a maple donut.
Didn’t get close enough to see the name on the bottle. Somethings are better left unknown. 👇🏻
This whole thing started after I complained to my doctor that nothing was working to help me lose weight. She suggested I keep a journal about what I was trying and what my results were. She also suggested to keep track of the “self-talk” I use when exercising.
Running became my torture of choice. I hate running. Why did I choose it? Heck if I know. I kept track of whatever crossed my mind and subjected all of my friends on Facebook to my “self-talk”. I figured if I was going down, I might as well take everyone with me.
After numerous requests to put all of my posts in one place, I decided to create a blog.
If you’re new and haven’t read any of my Runner’s Logs, enter at your own risk. These pages include all of the original Facebook posts and will continue on with the new ones as I write them. Life is busy so I’m trying to keep it to at least one a week.
Just a heads up. There is a noticeable gap in posts. I broke my toe in December 2016 and couldn’t do much until February 2017. My body liked that break so much it rewarded me with extra padding. Yeah…..
P.S. I still hate running but, dang it, it does a body good.
Runner’s Log 3/27 (was too tired to post last night)
👟 This time I’m prepared: base layer, gloves, hat, neck gator (for my uninformed desert friends, it’s like a scarf).
👟 Good things about running in above freezing temps: When I breathe it doesn’t feel like razors are slicing their way through my lungs; no snow; no ice; I can feel my face.
👟 Bad things about running in above freezing temps: Wearing base layers is too much 😥; All the roadkill from the winter now makes an appearance – seriously, are there any deer left?!; I can smell the horses and cows before I actually see them (Of course, they could be saying the same thing about me.)
👟 So, A-Hole Hill, we meet again. No I will not run up you today. I will be walking but your gloating days are numbered.
👟”I see absence makes the body grow rounder.” ~ A-Hole Hill.
👟 Pretty sure this hill is a 90 degree angle towards the top.
👟 Yep. This is it. This is how I die. Sweaty, gasping for air, and unable to reach the top of the hill, worrying about what I will look like when people find me. (I’m afraid there’s some analogy there regarding my life in general.)
👟 I made it. It wasn’t pretty, but I made it. All along the way I could be heard repeating: “What in the hill am I doing? What in the hill am I doing?”
Runner’s Log: Birthday Edition 3/23
🎂 I think all miles ran and calories burned should automatically be tripled on birthdays.
🎂 For my birthday, I wished for a FitBit Blaze, to lose 10 pounds, a nap, warmth, sunshine, and world peace.
🎂 It’s soooo cold out here. Stupid wind.
🎂 Aaaaaand now my nose is running.
🎂 FYI – snot wipes don’t show up on black sleeves. You’re welcome.
🎂 FYI Part Two – be sure to keep snot wiping on one sleeve and mouth wiping on the other. Do not mix. Just trust me on this one.
🎂Why is there an assortment of 20+ unopened Taco Bell sauce packets scattered on the side of the road?
🎂 Was there a conflict? “Dang it, Carol! You know how I feel about prepackaged condiments. Either ditch them or take a hike.”
🎂 Good news: I was able to run 2 of my 4 miles.
🎂 Bad news: My big toe may have disconnected after mile two and is currently flapping around in my shoe.
🎂 Batting 0 with the birthday wishes but the hubs surprised me with a birthday lunch, I was serenaded in Spanish (not by Jake), force fed whipped cream (again, not by Jake 😕), went for a run in freezing wind (butt is still frozen), and Tracy brought me tulips, so I guess you could say the day was a win.
*Totally not lying about the Taco Bell packets.